LeBron’s TV Show Sounds Awful

The last seven months have been difficult for LeBron James. After dealing with rumors of his mother bedding Delonte West and battling the subsequent feeling of soul-crushing emptiness, the self-proclaimed King set a new precedent in douchetardedery by declaring that he would be “taking his talents to South Beach” on national television.

In doing so, he became the most vilified athlete in all of sports. The only reason I write about LeBron is so that it give me a chance to post my cutout of the dog with a popped collar smoking a cigarette. It’s funny because a dog would never do those things.

I imagine that LeBron is overpaying a team of executives to figure out a way to change his public image. If he does, they’re pretty awful at their jobs, considering he produced that Nike commercial, and will star in his very own TV show, subtly titled, “The LeBrons.”

In his latest venture, Mr. James won’t be fighting crime Batman-style (even if he could probably afford it), but he still hopes to bring inspiration to his young fans. He is taking his talents to the Internet in a new Web-based animated series that will revisit some of his best-known off-the-court performances while featuring socially conscious messages.

The cartoon series, called “The LeBrons” and planned for a spring debut on its own YouTube channel and Mr. James’s Web site,, will revive the characters from a popular series of Nike commercials in which Mr. James played four versions of himself: the youthful and wide-eyed Kid LeBron; the physically adept Athlete LeBron; the smooth and savvy Business LeBron; and an ornery elder statesman called Wise LeBron. –NY Times

I can’t find the words to describe to how awful of an idea that is.

“I think everybody, even grown-ups now, today all wish they could be a superhero,” Mr. James, the Miami Heat forward and six-time N.B.A. All-Star, said in a recent telephone interview. “I definitely had that imagination of, like, wow, it would be great to look over a city and take down the bad guys. Absolutely, I had those visions.” –NY Times

I’m sorry, all I heard was “I really, really, like attention.” The only way LeBron could get more publicity is if he started dating a Kardashian, preferably Khloe. That would make the NBA Finals really interesting.