Links, Wherein I Beg For Shoes And Boobs

10.13.11 8 years ago

Ultros cosplay. I think I just found my Halloween costume.


Custom Knit Final Fantasy Kicks by PrettySneaky – These shoes are the coolest. I want to buy them on sale, just to see if the ads say “I, GARLAND, WILL KNOCK DOWN ALL THE PRICES”. [Gamma Squad]

New Rum Diary Clips: Amber Heard Parties Naked – Oh Amber Heard, you aren’t a very good actress, but I’m going to convince myself you’re awesome. Also known as the Amanda Seyfried Rule (or to most people, the Anne Hathaway Rule). [Film Drunk]

Tensions At #OccupySesameStreet Are Heating Up (New Photoshops) – I wish the Internet had been around during the civil rights movement, just so we could’ve seen people photoshopping Dragonball characters onto the Rosa Parks bus. [UPROXX]

Rihanna Wearing Nothing But Kale On The New Esquire Cover Doesn’t Make Her The ‘Sexiest Woman Alive’ – I don’t get Rihanna. She’s not even the hottest person doing this schtick. Last time I checked, Scarlett Johansson didn’t suddenly die and necessitate a replacement. [UPROXX]

Trombone Shorty – “Do To You” (Star Slinger Remix) – Just writing a sentence to say how badly I want people to call me “Trombone Shorty”. [Smoking Section]

We Are Still Kraken-Lackin’ – ATTN People who write for the nerdy UPROXX site I should’ve gotten shuffled onto by now: the Kraken isn’t around because I made Kratos kill him with a bridge. [Gamma Squad]

The Simpsons Embrace Horsemaning – Certainly better than the time they embraced “dogging”. That’s a great joke if you watch too much porn. [Buzzfeed]

Kate Beckinsale Is Holding Up Alright – Hopefully she’ll hold up long enough to make a good movie before she dies. [FARK]

Finding New Homes for the Stars of Fall 2011’s Canceled Shows – I was a little disappointed by this, because I thought they were literally going to try to find new homes for people, and like Amber Heard would get stuck on an episode of House Hunters. [AOL TV]

10 Needlessly Sexualized Versions of Everyday Products – I feel uncomfortable every time I use a bottle of Fathead shampoo. [Smoking Jacket]

81-Year-Old “Doctor” Offers Free Door-To-Door Breast Exams – I’m also offering these over the Internet. Send me pictures of your breasts, I’ll check them out and get back to you. [Brobible]

The 9 TV Actors Who Were Never Supposed To Leave Their Castmates In The Dust – This is a pretty interesting list, if only for how violently Mila Kunis rawdogged the rest of her cast. Also, Freaks and Geeks cast photos make me sad. [Pajiba]

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