06.11.08 10 years ago 9 Comments

Newly signed Chargers lineman Jeremy Newberry can't be blamed for a violent streak, drilled into his head as it was by his mother, who reinforced his brutality with money. Odd, since mine did the same with telling dick jokes. Funny how that works. 

Newberry says his mother paid him a bounty for injuring opponents before he had turned 10 years old.

“My mom used to pay me to knock people out of the game when I was a young kid,” Newberry said. “I used to make a couple dollars a game. When I was 9 years old, that was a lot of money. I tried to hit everybody.”

“She don't pay me no more,” he said. “In high school, it started getting expensive for her.”

“I'm not afraid to take a shot on somebody,” he said. “If I hurt you, I'm sorry. I'll shake your hand and buy you a beer afterward. But if I don't have to play you the rest of the game because you got a little tweak or you're injured, my team's probably got a better chance of winning.

Mom is just making an investment in the future. You bribe your son now to hurt some other kids and 10 years later he's buying you a house with his signing bonus. Or holding up banks and gunned down dozens. Either way, you're getting a cut. Where was the chapter on that, Dr. Spock?

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