Man Will “Walk” 500 Miles, 500 More

08.17.10 8 years ago 7 Comments

Matthew Partridge is a man with a dream – he wants to walk from one side of Britain to the other. This brave soul is doing it just because he wants to, with no social commentary or political agenda. Nope, Matthew simply wants to prove to himself that he can make the 1,200-mile journey on his own, and nobody will stand in his way. Except maybe a bad Internet connection.

Partridge’s walk from Land’s End to John O’Groats will take place entirely on Google Street View, because he’s far too busy to bother with things like training to walk. Instead he is training to sit at his computer for 10 hours per day and pretend to walk thanks to Google’s virtual mapping. And even though there are millions of people throughout the world whose jobs require them to sit in front of computers for 8 to 10 hours per day, Partridge is still treating this as it’s some sort of serious grueling physical task. Big whoop, I’ve made it through 2,000 pages of PornHub in less than three days.

Write this story with your poking stick, The Sun:

He said: “I can’t be bothered with all the training, planning and hardships of actually doing the walk. That’s why I’ve come up with this alternative.”

Flooring designer Matthew of Uttoxeter, Staffs, has taken a week off work and will spend ten hours a day trudging through the cyber landscape.

He’s even limbered up with a bit of training — building up to two-hour stints in the evenings. He said: “You can cover 400 yards in about ten seconds.”

Now I was never what you city slickers like to call a “math wiz” but I played my fair share of Rug Number Munchers back in the day. So I petitioned With Leather’s crack team of numerologists to do a little breakdown for me, because I’m calling BS on Patridge’s 50-hour quest. Captain Lazyass claims you can cover 400 yards in 10 seconds on Google Street View. That’s roughly 7,200 feet per minute. The trip from Land’s End to John O’Groats – which sounds like a visit to an outlet mall – is approximately 6,336,000 feet. That breaks down to 880 minutes or 14.7 hours of cyber travel time. Of course, I’m probably neglecting to include his sightseeing and shopping excursions.

Meanwhile, Partridge’s fellow countryman Stephen Bates will ride his skateboard 200 miles from his university in Nottingham to his home in Grove Green, Maidston, in order to raise money for Leukemia awareness and research. Bates’ trip is influenced by his own four-year battle with cancer, while Partridge’s cyber voyage is influenced by his battle with standing.

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