At a hulking 6-foot-5*, I’m no stranger to women constantly stopping me for pictures or asking to feel my biceps, and I deal with it because it just comes with the territory of being so devilishly handsome. But some guys aren’t lucky enough to have my Viking genetics and they have to deal with name-calling and stereotypes, and they are forced to deal with it because they’re tiny people and the shame of society. Even worse, most short people aren’t even short enough to win awards just for being short. Nope, not like my good friend Khagendra Thapa Magar, who at 26.4 inches tall is now officially the shortest man in the world.
The 18-year old native of Nepal has been certified by the fine people at the Guinness World Records and it was only a matter of time, because the official ruling can only be made when the short person turns 18. Yesterday was Khagendra’s 18th birthday, which spelled doomsday for the previous record holder, Edward Nino Hernandez. Edward only held the title for 7 months after the previous titleholder He Pingping of China passed away. What did he pass away from? If I had to guess, he was oversexed.
What does the future have in store for Khagendra, CNN?
The teen underwent a series of medical examinations over the past two days in his hometown of Pokhara to ascertain his height and weight.
A businessman discovered Magar four years ago in remote Baglung district.
Since then, he has been the center of attraction at fairs across the country, with organizers paying to exhibit him.
What a lucky little guy he is. Khagendra gets paid to travel, meet all kinds of people, take tiny pictures and sign itsy bitsy autographs, all while clearly keeping his pride intact. But really, for people who might wag their finger at this kind of shameless exhibitionism, what the hell else is he going to do? Sit around and wait to surrender his title like that loser Edward? Hell no, not Khagendra. He’s going to live, damn it. HE’S GOING TO LIVE!
And maybe he’ll even become the next Weng Weng. We love you, Weng Weng.
* Or 5’10” by “normal” measurements