Letters of Note has somehow managed to top their expletive-filled 19th century baseball memo with something even funnier — a love letter written to a girl named “Laquette” by an 18-year old Michael Jordan. Lines like “I know that you feelings was hurt” and “I want you to know that my feeling for you has not change yet. ← (joke)” confirm that His Airness is indeed the greatest scorer in the history of basketball.
The scans of the letter are below, courtesy of Lelands. Click them to see the bigger versions. In the event that you don’t have HD resolution or an oversized magnifying glass, the transcript immediately follows. I refuse to believe someone who spelled “apology” as “apologie” made it to Advanced Chemistry.
My Dearest Laquette
How are you and your family doing, fine I hope. I am in my Adv. Chemistry class writing you a letter, so that tell you how much I care for you. I decide to write you because I felt that I made you look pretty rotten after the last night. I want to tell you that I am sorry, and hope that you except my apologie. I know that you feelings was hurt whenever I loss my necklace or had it stolen.
I was really happy when you gave me my honest coin money that I won off the bet. I want to thank you for letting me hold your annual. I show it to everyone at school. Everyone think you are a very pretty young lady and I had to agree because it is very true. Please don’t let this go to your head. (smile) I sorry to say that I can’t go to the game on my birthday because my father is taking the whole basketball team out to eat on my birthday. Please don’t be mad because I am trying get down there a week from Feb. 14. If I do get the chance to come please have some activity for us to do together.
I want you to know that my feeling for you has not change yet. ← (joke) I am finally getting use to going with a girl much smaller than I. I hope you my hint. Well I have spent my time very wisely by write to you. I hope you write back soon. Well I must go, the period is almost over. See you next time around, which I hope comes soon.
With my Best Love
Michael J. Jordan
Not just his love, but his BEST love. This is so good. This is even better than that passed note where LeBron James asked Starkeisha if he could take her talents to Homecoming.