Which Players Have Showered With Michael Sam? An Important Investigation From ESPN.

St. Louis Rams teammates Kendall Langford and Alec Ogletree have not showered with Michael Sam. We know this because ESPN reported on it this afternoon. Yes, the worldwide leader dispatched veteran reporter Josina Anderson to uncover the sordid shower details.

As one anonymous teammate relayed to her: “Sam is respecting our space and that from his perspective he seems to think that Michael Sam is waiting to kind of take a shower as to not make his teammates feel uncomfortable.”

But what about Sam Bradford’s shower habits? Shaun Hill’s? Are they team loofah or team washcloth? I need to know this ESPN.

REMINDER: This is 2014 and we’re talking about the shower habits of a gay man.