03.08.07 11 years ago 11 Comments

The Dallas Stars hosted a a casino night for charity, which has to be the biggest load of crap ever. What the hell is the point of gambling if you don't even get to keep the money you win? It's totally against my principles. For the children, my ass. I'm doubling down FOR ME.

And hey, Mike Modano, stop being all tall and good-looking and put twenty on seven and eight and five each on all the hard ways. Damn celebrity croupiers, too busy being admired by pop starlets to do some real work.

Yes, as The Big Lead pointed out, the blonde at Modano's elbow is none other than Willa Ford. Yeah I haven't heard any of her music either, but before latching onto Modano she previously dated Nick Carter of the Backstreet Boys (a bitch) and UFC fighter Chuck Liddell (not a bitch). I've also carefully studied her Playboy spread (NSFW, as Playboy spreads usually are), and I learned a couple things about her. First, she's good at arching her back. Second, she has a butterfly tattoo above her hoo-hoo. And third, I would like to wear her as a hat.

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