Miley Cyrus: Bowling Legend

Miley Cyrus has made a sustainable, blockbuster career out of professions that shouldn’t make her famous. She was the daughter of country music’s Rick Astley. She was the star of a Disney Channel show about a girl who wears a wig. She had a custom-built Nicholas Sparks movie set up around her and tours the world as a Latina (?) teenager who booty-pops to auto-tuned Madonna songs with her best friend Biggus Dickus. Now Miley is embarking on a new career, and it makes less sense than ever: she’s been declared a goodwill ambassador to the game of bowling and elected to the Bowling Hall Of Fame.

Via a report from E! Online:

“We knew that with megastars such as Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber in our lineup that this year’s race would be a close one,” said Steve Johnson, executive director of the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America.

“Fueled by the passion and support of her supporters and bowling fans worldwide, Ms. Cyrus rose to the occasion scoring an incredible comeback victory. We are honored to welcome her into the Hall of Fame and grateful for her support of the great sport of bowling.”

As mentioned, Miley beat out bowling luminaries Justin Bieber, Kim Kardashian, Lady Gaga and one or more Jonas Brothers to take the honor. She also beat Jeff Bridges, who as far as I know is the only person on that list to have done something in his life about bowling. The rationale for nominating these people, besides free press (and the question “can you name a pro bowler”)?

“The roster of candidates includes celebrities who have helped support and popularize bowling, contributing to its status as the nation’s number one participatory sport,” the statement says.

I googled “Miley Cyrus bowling” and literally the only thing I could find besides “Miley Cyrus inducted into Bowling Hall Of Fame” were two pictures of her doing a Hannah Montana press thing at a bowling alley when she was 11. Her head hasn’t started going through puberty yet. Look at her, shelooks like a Monchichi.

Anyway, I guess I’d have to be pretty Sports By Brooks to try and call out the Bowling Proprietors’ Association of America for giving a black eye to the nation’s number one participatory sport, but damn, Drew Carey getting into the WWE Hall of Fame was pretty dumb, but at least he spent a few minutes in the Royal Rumble. This is like the Pawnee chapter of the Indiana Organization of Women giving Ron Swanson “Woman Of The Year”.

I bet there’s some poor, awesome bowler somewhere checking his mailbox every day to see if the BPAA has decided to value him over a bobbleheaded teenager who once held a bowling ball. Sorry, Ralph, not this year.

[h/t to FARK]