01.26.08 10 years ago

With the absence of football this weekend, degenerate gamblers such as me have been forced to gamble on other contests like the Miss America 2008 Pageant. I wagered on Miss Virginia because she shared that she is able to put her foot behind her head. While I'm still efforting that clip, please enjoy the elimination of Miss Utah: 

I guess the push-ups were to remind us that she is in the military. I'm not really attracted to girls who have more upper body strength than me, so I guess I won't be dating any of the contestants just to be safe. Finally, this is the only segment pageant host Mark Steines didn't stammer through. He said 'hate' instead of 'state', frequently looked helplessly into the teleprompter, and called Miss Wisconsin Miss Wyoming. It's a good thing he's not fat, because he has drunk and stupid nailed. -KD  

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