NBA Round-Up: All Hail The Boshtrich

Senior Writer
06.10.11 14 Comments

Never in a million years would I have ever believed that I would make the following statement: Of the so-called Big 3 of the Miami Heat, the only guy I respect right now is Chris Bosh. Amazing, right? The guy who proclaims to be a superstar but really isn’t has been struggling through a legal issue with his ex-wife because Bosh wants his 2-year old daughter to be able to watch him play in the NBA Finals. And while the idea completely violates my long-standing belief that children not old enough to remember things have no business being at sporting events, I kind of get where he’s coming from.

You see, Bosh’s ex-wife is a fame-hungry succubus, who is currently shaming her ex-husband on the show Basketball Wives, which involves approximately one-half of an actual basketball wife. But that is still considerably better than, say, your girlfriend sleeping with Rashard Lewis, which we’ll get to later in another post. Bosh is a grown man and he makes a lot of money by being a pretty good basketball player. He does more charity work than 90% of the guys in the NBA, which is something I did not know while I’ve been ripping him for so long but whatevs, and he’s possibly the only guy on the Miami Heat who really gives a damn about winning an actual, honest-to-god NBA Championship, as opposed to bulking up those endorsement dollars.

Seriously, it blows me away that I’m giving Bosh so much credit right now, since I have previously said that he sucks and looks like an ostrich, but the dude’s all right in my book. For now.

Dallas Mavericks 112, Miami Heat 103 (Series: 3-2 DAL)

Oh hello there, glad you could make it. I was just enjoying a cup of coffee and reading Gregg Doyel’s latest “I told you so“. Did you happen to catch the professional basketball contest last night? I hope you did, because you would have witnessed a superstar and a real team working together to topple a group of really good basketball players who celebrated a championship almost one year ago before this season even began.

Look, I’m not going to get all uppity about how awful the Heat have been playing, but OH MY GOD HOW AWFUL ARE THEY PLAYING? Forget the fact that both teams shot like 107% from the field in the first half last night. I’m talking about attitude and composure. How about the bullsh*t foul call on Brian Cardinal when Dwyane Wade “injured” himself by leading his shoulder into the standing man or how about Juwan Howard fouling DeShawn Stevenson and gazing at him like he’s been relevant for the past 15 years? I never expected a team like the Heat – built with a core of two superstars and Bosh, wrapped up with Udonis Haslem and the just-good-enough all-stars – would play and act like such children.

The Miami Heat will win Game 6. It’s hardly even a question right now, because even if we ignored my glaring and obvious conspiracy theories, David Stern will make sure that they win. But the Mavericks should have already won this series. Too bad the fact that they actually care doesn’t mean much. Otherwise they’d be hoisting a trophy in downtown Dallas right now.

(I admit this rant may have been more disorganized than others, but daddy had a little too much cough syrup last night. So here’s a picture of my family’s new puppy to make up for it.)

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