NBA Round-Up: Chris Kaman Was Ready

On Friday, as the majority of us sold our belongings, cleared out our DVRs and awaited our golden light beams to meet our makers, Los Angeles Clippers center Chris Kaman Tweeted that he was also preparing for the rapture, just in case. Kaman is widely regarded as a gun aficionado (USA Today called him the Ted Nugent of the NBA, probably in a pie chart) so he already has a collection of firearms and was just making a joke about the people who honestly thought we’d be eternally judged this past Saturday.

Of course people are upset with Kaman for taking pictures posing with rifles, but mainly because it’s hard to defend themselves when their sticks are shoved up their butts.

Miami Heat 96, Joakim Noah $150,000 (Series 2-1 MIA)

You know that NBA commercial that tries to teach us to use smart trash talk on the court instead of calling someone gay, that the league had to make after Kobe Bryant was caught on video calling a referee a f*ggot? Yeah, this one. Well get ready for a new batch, because Joakim Noah just joined the F-bomb club, as you can see above. After the game, Noah apologized for using the slur against a fan, who he claims was saying mean things. I don’t know anyone outside of Chicago or Gainesville who has one nice thing to say about Noah, as most accounts portray him as an apathetic, dirty, spoiled brat pothead. And now we can throw ignorant in there.

As for the game, the Heat won behind Chris Bosh’s 34 points, as the Bulls’ size was supposed to dominate Miami in this series, and Bosh, who has been criticized as soft this season because he is in fact soft, owned Chicago. If the Bulls can’t hold off Bosh while LeBron James and Dwyane Wade only score a combined 39, then they should just cancel all plans after Game 5, because this series is over.

Also at the game was Tracy Morgan as Dominican Lou…

(Sammy Sosa pic via @Jose3030)