New Ways To Make Lawn Mowing Fun

The United States Lawn Mower Racing Association is a real thing, and the 2011 STA-BIL Lawn and Garden Mower Racing Series is set to put its lever in the upright position, prime the engine and yank the cord this Saturday with the Potomac Speedway’s Mow Down Show Down. The Show Down is the first of 21 races in the STA-BIL series, and it features people racing lawn mowers at speeds as high as 50 mph. That’s right, even lawn mowers now drive faster than your grandmother.

Founded in 1992, the USLMRA is the largest sanctioned lawn mower racing organization in the U.S., with 50 chapters in 37 states overseeing 140 races, including the U.S. Open (*revs engine*). The “sport” originated in Britain in the 1970s, but like anything that makes British people happy, we stole it and commercialized it. The Revolutionary War will never end, wankers!

Groucho Marx said, “I thought my razor was dull until I heard your speech.” He’d obviously never been to a lawn mower race. Although some see parallels to the humble beginnings of NASCAR, there’s an inherently limiting factor — it’s played out on lawn mowers! Fairly stock rider types, with the mowing blade removed. Parallels might better be drawn to the Shrine Circus and their miniature Mustangs. (Via Mother Nature News)

That’s an excerpt from a piece that New York Times contributor Jim Motavalli recently wrote about this racing circuit. While I think it’s lame that the mowers have their blades removed – let’s kill two birds with one stone, people – Motavalli has never been to a race, so he based his opinion on YouTube videos that I’ve featured on the next page. As a counter to Motavalli’s distaste for mower racing, I’ll remind him that we love anything that involves rednecks doing stuff that can kill them. Who are we to challenge Darwinism?

Here’s the American version from good old Texas:

Here’s the British version:

Here’s the best version:

Here’s the Key West version: