Even Newborn Babies Have To Pay Up To See The Super Bowl

02.03.16 3 years ago
Baby Asleep At Game

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For the first two or three years of a baby’s life, they get to do practically everything for free. They get to eat for free at buffets, they can attend baseball games for free, they can even fly for free (and they’re noted horrible travelers). As long as they agree to sit on mom or dad’s lap, they can pretty much skate by until age 2, at which point their mom and dad will begin lying about their age for the next year or so, and then they’ll finally have to start paying for stuff by age 3. It’s the way of the world for most activities. That is, except, when it comes to attending the Super Bowl.

Sorry, kids, the buck stops here. So says Broncos punter Britton Colquitt, who has been allotted 15 tickets for the game on Sunday, one of which will be going to his two-week-old daughter at the same cost as everyone else: $1,800.

“It’s kind of crazy,” Colquitt told the Denver Post, days after the Broncos’ AFC title game victory.

“If we win and my wife and [other] two kids are there, but she’s not, how do I explain that to her? In the pictures, if we win, I’d like her to be in it.”

I realize this may finish at the absolute top one-percent of first-world problems, but it still seems quite silly. A newborn baby is going to spend nearly the entire game asleep in their carrier, and for the short period when they’re awake, someone will be holding them. Meanwhile, their $1,800-seat is going to remain empty all day.

The NFL is funny.

[via CBS Sports]

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