Nick Swisher Is A Man, But Not 40

08.03.10 8 years ago 8 Comments

Anyone who’s anyone on the internet knows that Wikipedia isn’t a legitimate news source. Unfortunately, some sucker writer in Florida never got the memo. A Wikipedia page reported that religion aficionado Tim Tebow helped New York Yankee All-Star outfielder Nick Swisher propose to his then-girlfriend-now-fiancee, JoAnn Garcia. That was a good enough source for our Floridian friend, who called Swisher to see if these “reports” were true. Let’s just say that Swisher was less than pleased to comment.

Some clown wrote on Wikipedia that Tim Tebow helped Nick Swisher propose to actress JoAnna Garcia by speaking to her parents and being present during the proposal. A writer in Florida asked Swisher about it over the weekend. “What?!” I’m a man! I don’t need to do that! Where’d you hear that?” That’s when the writer, Peter Kerasotis, said he saw it on wikipedia. “Dude, you’re in the media. You know better than to believe Wikipedia … That’s total BS! (Bleep) no! I don’t need some other dude to ask my girl to marry me. I’m a Major League Baseball player. I’m a man. I asked her on the balcony at my place in New York City. Tim Tebow wasn’t there. You need to squash that story, dude.” –The Big Lead

Wikipedia, while an amazing tool for remembering things on the tip of your tongue, is downright evil. It allows people who don’t know any better to cast aspersions on all information that comes from the internet. Legitimate, satirical sports-related news sources, or any news source for that matter, suffers because any senior citizen without glaucoma can log on to Wikipedia and realize that it was the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan, not Candyland, that caused the American boycott of the 1980 Moscow Olympics. All we can do is hope and pray that lazy reporting in print news sources will finally lead to the blogosphere revolution. Where the pen is mightier than the sword, but the sausage fingers of the blogger trump all.

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