Not Pictured: Doodoo

It shouldn’t be surprising that a guy with a name like a terrible Game Boy game (Ja’Juan Story) would say something shocking and hilarious in an interview, but here we are, being a little surprised. The Brooksville Nature Coast wide receiver and incoming Florida Gators freshman helped show how awesome sports would be if nobody told players what to say by referencing both Katy Perry and doodoo (and nearly everything else that exists) in an interview with Gator Country’s Amy Campbell.

Q: What’s the most played song on your iPod?

A: Most played…I don’t know, I want to say Katy Perry, “Fireworks.” It’s intense.

Q: What’s your favorite pre-game ritual?

A: Well, I take a doodoo. Before every game I doodoo.

Q: That’s your FAVORITE pregame ritual?

A: Well, that’s the only thing I do. That’s one thing I have to do before every game, or I won’t feel energy, and I’ll just feel slow. When I do I just feel light on my feet and everything, and I feel faster, so that’s what I do.

Q: You know I’m going to write this in a story right?

A: Well, I mean, that’s what it is. I doodoo and then listen to Katy Perry.

In a related story, interviews with players would be great if we never came up with questions better than these. LeBron James, what is your favorite color? Red? NO FURTHER QUESTIONS.

But no, if you can’t get behind a college football player who loves to sh** and rock out to “Ur So Gay” (or at least want to read about him, as “getting behind him” could be dangerous), I don’t know what to tell you. This exchange of dialogue is only the squeezed off tip of the iceberg. At one point he says he has a great business idea for sports, but won’t share it, because the interviewer would steal it. He also uses the phrase “my booty was out.”

[H/T Alligator Army]

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