Not Shocking At All: Kim Kardashian's Marriage To Kris Humphries Was Pretty Fake

It’s been a pretty crappy year for Brooklyn Nets forward Kris Humphries, between being benched and the fact that he’s currently working toward the world record for longest divorce in history. By the time this thing is wrapped up, Kris Jenner will already be fitting Kim Kardashian’s daughter for fishnets for her date with one of David Beckham’s boys.

But the news is finally looking good for K-Hump, who can never actually complain about anything after the sweetheart contract he signed with the Nets in the offseason, as a producer from Keeping Up with the Kardashians has testified that the 72-day marriage was – GASP! – pretty f*cking fake. Well, at least the end of it was.

It’s a 165-page document detailing the testimony of Russell Jay, and in it, the producer asserts that at least two scenes were ‘scripted, reshot, or edited’ to put Kris in a negative light once she decided she wanted to end the marriage. According to Life & Style, not only was Kris’ proposal not a surprise, like they pretended for the camera, but she actually had them reshoot the footage because, “she didn’t like how her face looked in the first take.” (Via Crushable)

Wait a second, Kim Kardashian is a self-obsessed fraud who manipulates her so-called reality show to make her life look even more dramatic than it actually is, so as to keep her mouth-breathing fans tuning in so they can live vicariously through her instead of actually contributing to the foundation of a better society? Why I never!

Another scene that he discusses Kim coming to Kris Jenner for advice about her failing…except he admits that it was filmed after she had already filed for divorce. Whoops! And then another time when Kim blew up at her husband for having a party in their hotel room when she was out of town was also fake — not only did she know the party was happening, but she was actually staying in the hotel herself.

“They set Kris up to look like a jerk. Anyone who loves someone would not team up with their production team to make them look like a fool on TV.”

Counterpoint: If you paid me enough money, I’d humiliate anyone in my life on national television. I’d fill their pants with mayonnaise and push them into a huge red ant pile if the check had enough zeroes. A heart can always heal, but my student loan ain’t pay itself, am I right?

Anyway, before you start feeling bad for K-Hump, just remember that while he may have been the victim of mean-spirited film editing, he still chose to be in this situation in the first place. He also chose to do this, and it’s completely unforgivable.