OchocincO’s Now In Sex-Free Flavor

11.05.10 7 years ago 5 Comments

Last month, the breakfast cereal industry received a huge blow when it was learned that Chad Ochocinco’s cereal, OchocincO’s, had accidentally misprinted the number to the charity Feed the Children, which was the intended recipient of proceeds from sales and donations, on the cereal boxes. Instead, the packaging featured a number for a 1-800 sex line, which many people, adult and children, ended up calling while trying to make donations. Or so they told their wives.

The cereal was immediately pulled from shelves, undoubtedly a huge blow to the efforts by the Cincinnati Bengals wide receiver to help this quality organization. However, it was great news for a Persian guy with a warehouse full of telephones and fat Midwestern women. But now the cereal has returned to grocery stores throughout Cinnci and many other cities, so people can go back to enjoying a nutritious breakfast and cursing Ochocinco’s inconsistent fantasy numbers *shakes fist in general direction of Ohio*.

Tell me what you’re wearing, Fox 19… A suit? What kind of sick pervert are you?

PLB Sports, Inc. has relaunched the cereal to Cincinnati area Kroger shelves following the incident. People are encouraged to find the cereal and donate to “Feed the Children.”

The number for “Feed the Children” is 1-888-HELPFTC. The organization delivers food, medicine, clothing and other necessities to children and families who lack these items due to famine, war, poverty or natural disaster.

If you’ll recall, the original packaging for the Ochocinco’s had a 1-800 number instead, so make sure your children know that if they’re calling to make a donation to their favorite wide receiver’s charity of choice, they need to dial 1-888. But if your kids are calling for hot erotic exchange then they need to dial 1-800. Don’t feel bad, parents. It took me at least 4 years to figure out phone sex. God I miss the fifth grade.

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