03.31.08 10 years ago 9 Comments

If you don't count the games in Japan and last night's Braves-Nats game, today is Opening Day for Major League Baseball.  Fittingly, there's an assload of baseball stories fluttering about.  Let's take a look.

  • The Manatees — the Marlins' dance team comprised of overweight men — are ready for their home opener, which brings us this exchange between a disappointed choreographer and a member of the team:

"I see people leaving to get hot dogs!" she admonishes them. "You want to keep them in the stands! Do you want to lose out to a hot dog?"

"Can they bring me one?" asks Steve Bauer, a 280-pound food service vendor, drawing high fives from the other Manatees. [Because they're fat! Get it? – Ed.]

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