05.20.08 10 years ago 21 Comments

Dolphins defensive end/foxtrot extraordinare Jason Taylor will find out tonight if he'll take home that disco-inspired Dancing With The Stars trophy. Jason, if you win, don't take it to minicamp, because Parcells will wipe his ass with it before rubbing the turd-faced gem on under-performing rookies. The man knows how to motivate.

So yeah, Parcells is getting menstral, and Greg Cote of The Miami Herald took time off from pleasuring women everywhere to document as much:

Few players in the NFL have served one franchise longer or with more distinction than Taylor, but the thanks Taylor gets from his new boss is nearly six months of cold shoulder. That's insulting. That's dumb of Parcells. Taylor said on ESPN's Sunday Conversation he is in ''five times'' better shape right now than when he was NFL Defensive Player of the Year in 2006. Forgive him the hyperbole. Now make a short list of Dolphin players you needn't worry in the least about for 2008, either from a production or conditioning standpoint, and who do you rank above Taylor?…Nobody.

Snap! But it's pretty obvious that Taylor (a) probably won't give a shit about football after 2008, and (2) wouldn't mind irritating the new czar long enough to get out of Miami. I mean, it's not like there's anywhere to dance in Miami. 

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