Paulina Gretzky Went To/Cosplayed As Germany

We’re gonna go ahead and count this as another hockey post. PLAYOFF BEARDS AFTER THE PLAYOFFS, STUNNING STYLE OR FASHION FAUX PAUS? MY COLUMN:

But no, Paulina Gretzky went to Germany and dressed like the St. Pauli Girl. Of COURSE she did. Paulina lives in a Jon-Hamm-on-30-Rock bubble where she’s gorgeous and everyone loves her, so she can just kinda do anything she wants and be celebrated for it. Remember when she went to Las Vegas to hang out with a bunch of d-bags, and we were all WOW LOOK HOW GREAT PAULINA GRETZKY IS? Remember when she briefly hung out on a boat and we were like OH MY GOD SHE’S SO GOOD AT BOATS? Yes, Paulina Gretzky has cosplayed as “Germany” and is now queen of Germany.

Also, Dustin Johnson was there.

Check out the pictures, then report back to me with a 30,000 word essay on the favors Paulina Gretzky has done Germany by existing within it. A supplementary paragraph about how Dustin Johnson thinks “plaid shirt and suspenders equals Germany” earns you extra credit.