Slather every available surface with Crisco before somebody climbs it, because the Philadelphia Eagles won the Super Bowl and fans in Philly are losing their minds. We already rounded up some videos of the celebration, but Twitter users were also following the Philadelphia Police scanner to keep abreast of the unfolding anarchy. This has gone past kerfuffle, through hullabaloo, and into riot territory.
Some of the events were recounted in the #PhillyPoliceScanner hashtag.
If you are not following the #phillypolicescanner on Twitter right now, you are missing out at the funniest, most terrifying, depressing and insane things you will ever hear in your life. Highlights include, Macy's being looted, and a man ridding an ostrich stollen from the zoo.
— M.D. Welch (@md_welch) February 5, 2018
It was a night of many heists. And no heist can get Twitter in a dither like animal heists and escapes can:
The enclosures at the zoo have fallen. Man in sweatpants and Brian Dawkins jersey is riding an ostrich towards Market. #PhiladelphiaPoliceScanner #phillypolicescanner
— Thoughts on the Dead (@ThoughtsOnGD) February 5, 2018
Ostrich stolen from zoo electrocuted by exposed traffic light wires on 17th and Chestnut. Animal rescue to 17th and Chestnut.#phillypolicescanner #philadelphiapolicescanner
— Thoughts on the Dead (@ThoughtsOnGD) February 5, 2018
The animals have broken into a zoo #phillypolicescanner
— jinxee 😜🤘 (@Evolgirl13) February 5, 2018
Did someone in #Philadelphia steal a Police horse? #phillypolicescanner pic.twitter.com/IFgOVz4pTU
— YesIball (@Yesiball) February 5, 2018
https://twitter.com/chefbpd/status/960401970925330432
Police have retaken the first stolen horse. Horse #2 still at large. #phillypolicescanner
— Thoughts on the Dead (@ThoughtsOnGD) February 5, 2018
Things escalated quickly.
Just saw a video of a female with a eagle mask on running around in the streets of Philadelphia completely naked. OK THEN 🙄 #philly #phillyriots #phillyriot #phillypolicescanner
— Keith (@BostonTVPhotog) February 5, 2018
Burning an xmas tree in the middle of broad street chanting “fuck Tom Brady” pic.twitter.com/rHFeOxHi5X
— Ritzo (@StaceyRitzen) February 5, 2018
#PhiladelphiaPoliceScanner #phillypolicescanner Dear God, they've stolen a fire truck.
— Thoughts on the Dead (@ThoughtsOnGD) February 5, 2018
According to #phillypolicescanner, they've taken City Hall and are prepared to party. pic.twitter.com/ulT7bP12qi
— Ross W Berman IV (Philosopher Pirate) (@RossWBermanIV) February 5, 2018
https://twitter.com/HollyAbair/status/960403559853580288
Despite everyone’s attempts to prevent climbers by greasing surfaces ahead of time, no lightpole was safe:
https://twitter.com/michael_hendrix/status/960372793455075328
Forget climbing poles, people in Philly have TAKEN THEM OUT OF THE GROUND
(via @maxontwitter) pic.twitter.com/00DEHvDt2o
— Sports Illustrated (@SInow) February 5, 2018
https://twitter.com/AugustusThe3rd/status/960393208030167040
It’s going to be hard to prosecute some of these suspects, however…
On #phillypolicescanner they are looking for a guy who just ran over a police officer on a 4-wheeler. He's being described as "a male in an Eagles jersey". Good luck with that.
— Joey Doughnuts (@JoeyDoughnuts_) February 5, 2018
"I have a male in custody. He says he's an off-duty cop." #phillypolicescanner
— Doug Schneider (@PGDougSchneider) February 5, 2018
And yes, so many people climbed on the canopy at the Ritz-Carlton that it collapsed.
https://twitter.com/michael_hendrix/status/960371239058591744
That wasn’t the only quotable quote making the rounds:
https://twitter.com/mrsw227/status/960379767412477955
I can't believe what I'm hearing right now. An officer made a call for a guy bleeding and suffering from a seizure and then called off the medic saying he got up and walked away #phillypolicescanner https://t.co/3VVWe9J8c6
— Elon Musk = Apartheid Clyde (@NATOKeepsUsSafe) February 5, 2018
Live look in with @PhiladelphiaPD at this moment. #EaglesvsPatriots #PhillyPhilly #phillypolicescanner #flyeaglesfly #SuperBowl2018 pic.twitter.com/VDnyKk5IcD
— The Real GMSL (@smlennon) February 5, 2018
But let those among us who have never been guilty of doing this cast the first bottle.
https://twitter.com/michael_hendrix/status/960376156724891649
And it wouldn’t be a sports riot without some random chain retailers getting vandalized:
Confirmed: broken windows looting has begun at Macy’s #Phillypolicescanner
— 🦉 Mac 🦉 (@DMac_EMC) February 5, 2018
#phillypolicescanner #PhiladelphiaPoliceScanner Stolen fire truck has been driven into the Macy's in City Center. SWAT teams to menswear.
— Thoughts on the Dead (@ThoughtsOnGD) February 5, 2018
They ripped the doors off of Old Navy. #phillypolicescanner
— Amanda 🩵 (@aaamanda) February 5, 2018
Then somebody brought their four-year-old out into this madness (don’t do that) then lost track of her (especially don’t do that). Thankfully, she was quickly found.
4 year old named Savannah missing my goodness people please don’t take children out in this crap #Phillypolicescanner
— 🦉 Mac 🦉 (@DMac_EMC) February 5, 2018
SAVANNAH HAS BEEN LOCATED BEST NEWS OF THE NIGHT #Phillypolicescanner
— 🦉 Mac 🦉 (@DMac_EMC) February 5, 2018
THEY FOUND THE 4 YEAR OLD, FINALLY #phillypolicescanner
— TF Marson (@TMarDerozan) February 5, 2018
Not only were families reunited, but new ones were getting started. Some guy proposed marriage:
OMG A MAN JUST PROPOSED!!! pic.twitter.com/6cyMnifgh5
— max (@MaxOnTwitter) February 5, 2018
Plenty of people were genuinely mad about the whole thing, and not without good reasons.
https://twitter.com/thetruthhurtscc/status/960395269538971648
https://twitter.com/StarrburyMike/status/960369309146058753
Causes of City Wide Destruction:
Baltimore – Freddie Gray
Ferguson – Michael Brown
Philadelphia – Eagles won#Philadelphia #PhillyPoliceScanner— #ThePersistence (@ScottPresler) February 5, 2018
"A guy in a four-wheeler just ran over a cop."
"We need more shields and riot gear."
"Some kids just flipped over an SUV and set it on fire."
"We got a couple hundred people on this light pole."But football players kneeling is disprespectful. #phillypolicescanner
— Derek C. of Earth-23 (@PopRelics) February 5, 2018
We can’t have nice things.
https://twitter.com/misslaneym/status/960417483898408960
https://twitter.com/JTillinghouse/status/960381512108691456
#philly is destroying itself in celebration tonight. That’s like celebrating the end of the flu by lighting your arms on fire. #SuperBowl52 #SuperBowlLll #phillypolicescanner
— the artist formerly known as, well, whatever (@BrianMickelson) February 5, 2018
Listening to #PhillyPoliceScanner makes me feel like I'm one of the rich people on purge night just watching and listening to the carnage from the safety of my home.
— Kevin Adams (@KevinAdams26) February 5, 2018
If only this tense situation could have been calmed with cola beverages and Kardashian half-sisters.
https://twitter.com/BridgetPhetasy/status/960411738578366465
Best of luck to all first responders stuck in this. You the real MVP.
https://twitter.com/BridgetPhetasy/status/960395998399840256
https://twitter.com/bradfieldhaley/status/960406810279718913
Please, Philly. Think of the biscuits.
We are excited to serve everyone biscuits tomorrow morning at our Philadelphia location but in order to do that it needs to be not burned down please
— Hardee’s (@Hardees) February 5, 2018
(Via #PhillyPoliceScanner)
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