02.13.08 10 years ago 22 Comments

I guess pitchers and catchers reported today or yesterday or something, totally sparking my unflagging devotion to baseball that will last uninterrupted for the next eight and half months until a World Series champion is crowned.  Oh God I can't contain my excitement.

One thing that makes this event bearable is seeing who showed up to work a complete fatass, and the Boston Herald pointed its camera at the midsection of ace Josh Beckett.

Six-pack? Red Sox ace Josh Beckett isn’t even sporting a one-pack! … But calm down, Red Sox Nation. Our Florida spies say that Josh … isn’t actually as flabby as this photo makes him look.  In fact, Beckett arrived in camp with his personal trainer who helped build a gym for Josh inside his Texas compound and, word is, No. 19 is in better shape than he was last year at this time.

Pssh, you call that a lede, Boston Herald?  THIS is a lede:  "Big game pitcher?  More like big-game animal on an African safari!  We can't tell if Beckett looks like David Wells, or something Wells would hunt."  Amateurs.

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