Power Rankings: Double Down Your Cats in Space, It’s the Smart Play

06.25.10 8 years ago 4 Comments

If there’s one thing I love, it’s nonsensical rankings for my own personal enjoyment. Let’s get to it.

1) Cats in Space — Ufford recounts the history of interstellar felines. It’s chock full of cats photoshopped as astronauts; humor that transcends race, gender, or religion. Suck it, Laser Cats.

2) The Double Down — I know, I know. This sandwich has been out for awhile. However, I don’t really frequent KFC and finally had the opportunity to scarf one of these bad boys. Cheesy, bacon goodness pressed in betwixt two crispy chicken patties. A steady diet of these is doubling down on your chances of hypertension. It’s worth a try for the story, but I can’t recommend them as a staple of any diet.

3) Entourage hotties — There’s no doubt I’ll get ripped on for admitting I’m an Entourage fan, and I’m OK with that. Another thing I’m OK with? The hot tail that comes on the show weekly. BroBible breaks down the hottest 100 girls throughout the show’s history. While it’s hard for me to like any list that doesn’t have Scarlett Johansson at number one, it’s harder for me to dislike a list with so many babes.

4) America — Landon Donovan and the rest of the USMNT square off against Ghana tomorrow afternoon. PUNTE will be watching with Lobster Dog and the Ghanaian maintenance guy that works in his apartment. Watch the game at a bar, just so you can get in some awesome reaction shots when America wins. You shouldn’t need me to help you get excited, but this should do the trick.

5) Crazy John of House Tires and Rims — I referred to Crazy John earlier today, but I’ve been seeing these commercials on TV all day, and it never stops being hilarious. Watch as Crazy John’s hired babes flee from him in terror. I wish he would bring me some rims for Christmas. Or at least I would if I was Latrell Spreewell.

6) Sex and Fantasy Football Mailbags — Glad to see KSK is back from vacation. Sex and fantasy football is such an awesome, but impossible collaboration. Nothing pisses off your significant other more than checking up on a mock draft post coitus.

7) Kim Kardashian — Speaking of coitus, Kimmy K is still a dime. She’s rumored to be hooking up with Miles Austin, as if I needed another reason to hate the Cowboys.

8) The NBA Draft — John Wall went number one overall to the Wizards, Wes Johnson was very dapper, and the free agent class of 2010 was still the biggest story of the night. My favorite part? Grizzlies fans.

–via Deadspin

9) Whiskey Dick’s — Three minor league players for the Cleveland Indians could face felony assault charges after getting into a scrum at Whiskey Dick’s, a bar in Akron. I have two theories as to why the fight started. First, they realized they were in the Indians’ farm system. Also, they took the Whiskey Dick’s moniker a little too literally.

10) Celebratory drinking — Apparently Sean Payton got hammered the night of New Orleans’ Super Bowl victory. That’s a good of reason as any to drink heavily on a Friday night, and all day Saturday before, during, and after an America victory.

Play me off, Lee Greenwood.

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