POWER RANKINGS: EA SORTS IT OUT ON OPRAH

09.11.09 9 years ago

Power Rankings are a waste of everyone’s time, especially on a Friday afternoon. Except when we do them. Then, they kick ass.

1. Erin Andrews. Her interview with Oprah aired earlier today to talk about the peephole video. So I guess after that and the GQ spread, we have the green light to start objectifying her again.

2. Joanna Krupa. Joanna knows that topless women photographed with consent will always find a soft spot in our hearts and a firm spot in our pants.

3. LaGarrette Blount’s right hand. If only he could have rushed during the game the way he threw down after the game. The more I think about it, the less I like qualifying this as a “sucker punch.” If some guy walked up to you, running his mouth and all, and then happened to be looking at a butterfly or something as you fed him a knuckle sandwich, is that really your fault?

4. A new golf blog? Guys, are we sure that’s Michelle Wie in the leopard print skirt?

5. The Ben Roethlisberger Hype Machine. Ben’s one of the better quarterbacks in the NFL. But is he one of the league’s best? Not according to this guy.

6. 1980s Cris Collinsworth as Wooderson. He likes girls that aren’t all that bright.

7. David Wright’s batting helmet. Short and curvy, but way too loose for a big leaguer’s taste. And oh by the way…he switched back!

8. Alona Bondarenko. I think I just double-faulted in my pants.

9. Getting stuck with the check. A $14,000 dinner check? That’s the life of a rookie, I guess.

10. Bacon. I missed International Bacon Day last Saturday. It’s alright. I’m a Reds fan. I’m used to waiting until next year. Even if it is for bacon-flavored ice cream. Thanks, Gimp, for that link.

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