Oy, How ‘Bout That Football Then? The Very Best From Premier League Matchday 11

Jose Mourinho
Getty Image

In which we catch you up on the weekend in Barclays Premier League action across the pond.

I was too busy carving pumpkins and eating candy, what’d I miss?

The biggest headline to come out of this weekend is whether this is truly, finally, definitely the end for Chelsea manager Jose Mourinho. His squad lost to Liverpool 3-1, keeping them in 15th place in the league and only four points above relegation. One win in the past eight games will not do for owner Roman Abramovich, who is used to competing for trophies since he bought the team in 2003, and who has paid many, many times more for a roster than most of the rest of the teams in the league. The talent is there, so it’s clear something else must be wrong.

Yikes. Hooray for Liverpool though, right? Don’t they have a new guy in charge?

Yes! Manager Jurgen Klopp earned his first win as manager of Liverpool, and while it wasn’t an overwhelming performance, he’s new — so he doesn’t need to vault them to the top of the table. He’s got time to work his magic, but in the meantime, it’s nice to just get that first-win monkey off his back.

What else?

Arsenal kept winning with a 3-0 win against Swansea! As a team that’s regularly stocked with world-class talent, it’s easy to call them a disappointment for not winning the league since 2004. But it’s also fair to call them realistic. Unlike some clubs *cough* Chelsea *cough* who toss managers left and right, Arsenal has danced with the one that brought them back to the league’s elite in the beginning of this decade. Arsene Wenger annually puts out a competitive side, and some years the breaks don’t go their way, some years they blow it. But they’re always competing, and always making Champions League qualification (top 4), so he keeps his job. It’s an old-fashioned way of looking at the manager/coach role in today’s age, but so far this year, it’s working.

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In other news, United continued to prove toothless in a 0-0 draw against Crystal Palace, Manchester City escaped Norwich with a 2-1 win after gifting them a goal, and Newcastle was unable to capitalize on the other two bottom feeders losing, managing only a 0-0 draw against Stoke. Top two is still City and Arsenal, tied on 25 points.

Who earned their meat-pie(s) this weekend?

Philippe Coutinho. He’s a Liverpool midfielder, and their #10. To say someone is a #10 is far more than to state their number. A #10 is…well, to think of them as a captain, or a quarterback, is too simplistic. They’re supposed to be the creative force, whether through their own skill, or by making others look good. They run the offense like a QB, sure, but sometimes their genius lies in recognizing that the best offense is for them to stay out of the way and let others shine. Coutinho is easy to miss, as he’s only 5-foot-7 and doesn’t usually put in the leg-breaking tackles you expect from the best midfielders. Nicknamed the “Little Magician,” the Brazilian has a wonderful knack for scoring beautiful goals when the moment calls for it. This weekend, he single-handedly may have put Jose Mourinho out of a job with two curling goals, conjured from one side-step and a quick, sudden snapshot that sends the ball dipping into the corners like, well…magic.

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Yeah, but rumor has it somebody scored a hat trick…

Yeah, Arouna Kone of Everton put three past Sunderland en route to a 6-2 victory.

But come on, that’s beating up on a real basement dweller, not a “probably shouldn’t be a basement” team like Chelsea. But nevertheless, here ya go:

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And the rest?

Right here!

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Excellent. What’s up next?

Big game next weekend looks to be Arsenal-Tottenham on Sunday morning at 11 a.m. EST. Not only are the two bitter rivals, but Tottenham is currently sitting 5th in the table, five points behind the Gunners. If Tottenham wants to have any chance at making noise in the title race, they need to snatch three points here. Likewise, this should be a litmus test for Arsenal — are they for real this season, will they be tough enough down the stretch? Grabbing a win against another top-five team now will give them a ton of confidence heading into the holiday midpoint of the season. It doesn’t hurt that both are fairly offensive-minded teams, meaning the chances should come, even if the goals don’t.

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