It was only a matter of time before violence at an Oakland Raiders game involved a Raiders fan fighting another Raiders fan. During the Atlanta Falcons’ 35-28 win Sunday, we finally reached peaked Raiders stadium brawl.
This fight had it all.
— The squaring off between a tiny man appearing to display some sort of martial arts defense moves and another larger man who appeared very disinterested in this whole thing.
— The tiny man doesn’t so much punch the disinterested man as much as he flicks off his sunglasses with a deft lunge.
— The disinterested man, who is much larger and clearly wanted no part of this, then unleashes a left-handed punch that connects meekly, but is still enough to knock his opponent off-balance. There seems to be a moment where the bigger guy realized he could kill the smaller guy with a right-handed blow so instead decided to work on his left.
— The smaller man is not felled by the soft left, so the larger man unleashes fury with the right hand.
— Since this is a stadium fight, Sucker Punch Man descends onto the scene in what looks like jorts and a hat he stole from the set of the movie Congo. If there were ever a fight where a sucker punch was not needed, it was this one.
— There’s also someone yelling “he deserved it.”
— Smaller man scrapes himself off the stairs, but Sucker Punch Man has already fled into the night, so smaller man is safe to leave.
This is yet another example of why before you sign up for Raiders season tickets, you should complete a few mixed martial arts training courses.