‘Rampage Jackson: Street Warrior’ Gets An Animated Trailer And It Features Lady Loving

11.14.13 6 years ago 5 Comments

Back in July, we shared with you Rampage Jackson: Street Soldier, a new comic book starring former UFC Light Heavyweight Champion Quinton Jackson about him fighting crime with a chain and some werewolf powers.

Now the comic has an animated trailer, and if you were hoping it’d combine the best animation from Newgrounds with the worst parts of the Black Dynamite cartoon, congratulations!

My favorite part of the preview is when it randomly stops announcing his accolades to shoe-horn in, “ANIMAL LOVER! LADY LOVER!” You can’t put those side by side, guys, it ruins the meaning of both of them. I wish they’d given cartoon Rampage a little dry-humping motion and used it for both.

I want a full-length version of this with Tito Ortiz as the bad guy. Have him plan the bank heist, spend 21 minutes talking a bunch of shit about how the bank owners are like slave owners, then bail on the plans at the last minute. That’s basically all Cobra Commander ever did. Get Tito to record one, “I’LL GET YOU NEXT TIME, RAMPAGE!” soundbite and use it in every episode.

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