Riley Cooper Will Jump That Fence And Fight Every [Slur For Taiwanese People] Here

If you haven’t been following the Wonka-esque story of Philadelphia Eagles wide receiver Riley Cooper threatening to “fight every n*gger” at a Kenny Chesney concert, then being extremely sorry and “extremely hurt” (you know, because somebody caught it on video), here’s the short version: he gon’ get got.

In today’s sports world, where even soccer teams are handing out memos about how you can’t use racial slurs, you can’t scream the n-word at somebody in public. You also can’t expect to go more than 48 hours without the Taiwan Animation guys going DEFCON 1 over it and uploading a video where a small child speedbags you in the nuts and your teammates piss all over you. It’s just the way of the world.

Here’s Taiwan’s subtle, nuanced take on the Riley Cooper story. Frankly, it’s the only one you need.

Has anybody asked Tim Allen what he thinks about this?

While we’re talking about it, why has nobody called out the lady in the video? Sure, Riley Cooper’s screaming the n-word in anger, all sleeveless while Kenny Chesney soft-rocks his way through ‘No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problems’ somewhere off in the distance, but the lady being all weird and saying “AWW HE SAID N*GGAAAAAAAAAH” is pretty bad, too.