02.10.08 10 years ago 2 Comments

The Friars' Club had a roast for former Major League pitcher and author of Ball Four, Jim Bouton, that would have made even Dana Jacobsen blush:

Susie Essman, who turned to Bouton's wife, Paula, and said, "Honey, he didn't give up his career for you! He gave up his career because his arm didn't work any more!" Essman also cracked, "I could have had sex with Jim but I didn't. I held my ground. I got up off my knees from that bathroom stall with my dignity." Dave Konig, from Sirius Radio, said, "I always wanted to be an athlete as a kid but couldn't. But after reading your book and learning how athletes gambled and drank and chased women, I knew I could be like them."

Apparently, Bouton is not important enough to receive the Friars' 'A' crew, but Essman and Konig really delivered some zingers, didn't they? No, they didn't. The 1963 All-Star would have been better served by Rip Taylor and the exhumed corpses of Slappy White, Henny Youngman, and, of course, Mickey Mantle. -KD

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