Rod Carew Should Be Banished From The National Baseball Hall Of Fame

For all the jokes we make about TMZ writers and their obnoxious use of ellipses, I have to admit that I shamefully enjoy it when they “report” random stories tongue-in-cheek. For example, yesterday they proclaimed to have “blockbuster” news about MLB Hall-of-Famer Rod Carew, and I was like, “Oh snap, did he murder someone? Is he pulling a Morgan Freeman and marrying his granddaughter? Is he finally becoming a professional wrestler?”

And I would have never guessed what TMZ was actually overusing the caps lock key about, because it wasn’t blockbuster at all.

Take off your yarmulke … put down that gin and tonica … ’cause Hall-of-Famer Rod Carew isn’t Jewish after all … despite the lyrics in Adam Sandler’s famous “Hanukkah Song.”

But when we ran into Rod at LAX this weekend, the baseball legend set the record straight .. he never actually converted back in the day.

Don’t worry, Rod says he and Adam talked about the mistake after the song was released … and the two even struck up a friendship over the mix up.

They “talked” about it? They struck a friendship? DAMN IT, ROD. You could have sued Sandler for everything before he ever had a chance to become famous and prevented this world from ever having to see Grown Ups or especially That’s My Boy.

Have you seen Jack and Jill, Rod? I have, and now knowing that you could have crushed Sandler years ago for lying about you and making millions of dollars in the process, I place a curse on your soul that you be forced to watch Just Go with It on every single plane flight for the rest of your life, and may that life be long and plentiful so you suffer while watching Brooklyn Decker act. You’ve earned this.