Roger Clemens Is A Liar, Pants On Fire

Senior Writer
08.19.10 10 Comments

Remember when Roger Clemens swore up and down in front of the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform that he had never taken steroids or used performance-enhancing drugs while playing professional baseball? And remember how his trainer Brian McNamee ratted him out to that same committee? Yeah, Clemens might be royally screwed now.

The former New York Yankees pitcher has been indicted by federal authorities on six charges of perjury and obstruction after allegedly lying his pock-mark-riddled ass off to the House committee in 2008. Clemens and McNamee famously bickered in front of elected government officials with nothing better to do than hold hearings on PED use in baseball, eventually leading to the decision to investigate Clemens for perjury. Tough luck, Roger. Let’s hope nobody throws their bat at you in prison.

Don’t drop the soap, New York Times:

The 19-page indictment charges Clemens with three counts of making false statements and two counts of perjury in connection with his February 2008 testimony before the House Committee on Oversight and Government Reform.

That testimony came in a public hearing in which Clemens and his former trainer Brian McNamee, testifying under oath, directly contradicted each other about whether Clemens had used the banned substances.

I consulted with With Leather’s crack team of federal lawyers to find out what kind of punishment Clemens would face and they just screamed profanity at me and flipped the desk over. Turns out they’re pretty big juice freaks and don’t like being questioned. Federal perjury alone can carry a sentence of at least three years, so couple that with the obstruction charge and whatever other federal charges he’s facing and Clemens is looking at something like 600 years in prison. Give or take.

Meanwhile, this has reopened the door for the argument of why the hell Congress was even dealing with guys like Clemens, McNamee, Andy Pettite, Barry Bonds, and various other former Major League Baseball players who were mentioned on the infamous Mitchell Report. So if hearing debates of absent logic and revolving rhetoric mixed with veiled dismissals and skirted issues is your cup of tea, then grab the crumpets because we’re about to have a national media party.

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