Soccer Player Booted For Being A Hero

Senior Writer
03.08.11 11 Comments

Fewer things have worn out their welcome over the past decade than streakers at sporting events and terrible Borat impersonations. So when a fan dressed as Borat ran on the field during yesterday’s soccer football match between Dorchester and Havant & Waterlooville we reached a new low in idiotic fans. Security lollygagged as the fan ran circles around the field, so thankfully one of the players stepped up and dropped the fan like a sack of bangers and mash.
With the match tied at 1-1, Dorchester’s Ashley Vickers, who has a man’s name despite what my elementary and middle school classmates may have believed, did what the lazy security guards refused to do and chased the fan down, grabbed him by the arm and shoulder and threw his neon-bikini-wearing ass to the dirt. And while the crowd cheered and players from both teams seemingly defended Vickers’ actions, he received a red card and was ejected. Dorchester went on to lose 3-1.
As for Vickers, he couldn’t believe it, guvna…

‘A guy ran on to the pitch without any of the stewards getting near him and I thought I was doing them a favour,’ he explained.
‘The funny thing was the stewards actually thanked me for it, but the ref decided to send me off and it beggars belief.
‘Their players told the ref not to send me off and their chairman even offered to take a player off to even things up. The ref lost the game after that.’ (Via Metro UK)

He is completely right, except for his inclusion of the letter u in some words. We’ve witnessed people run on fields and courts and we’ve witnessed it become a danger to athletes and coaches. A psycho stabbed Monica Seles and a hillbilly father and son duo beat the crap out of a baseball coach. How can we possibly punish athletes for not only protecting themselves but for putting an end to one of the most idiotic fan traditions in sports?
With that, after the jump, I’m celebrating some of the sporting world’s greatest moments in idiot fans getting their asses kicked.

(Note to the uploader, this was clearly not a NFL game.)

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