Russell Wilson Didn’t Have A Concussion, But That Recovery Water Still Definitely Helped, Right?

08.28.15 3 years ago
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Ciara’s boyfriend Russell Wilson, also known as the quarterback of the Seattle Seahawks, said some interesting things about brain injuries while hawking a new product in which he’s invested, Reliant Recovery Water. Not interesting in the educational sense, mind you — in fact, pretty much the opposite of that. Basically, he pulled a Dr. Oz while he was talking to Rolling Stone:

[Recovery Water has] nanobubbles and electrolytes that purportedly helps people recover quickly from workouts and, according to Wilson, injury. He mentions a teammate whose knee healed miraculously, and then he shares his own testimonial.

“I banged my head during the Packers game in the playoffs, and the next day I was fine,” says Wilson. “It was the water.”

Rodgers offers a hasty interjection. “Well, we’re not saying we have real medical proof.”

But Wilson shakes his head, energized by the subject. He speaks with an evangelist’s zeal.

“I know it works.” His eyes brighten. “Soon you’re going to be able to order it straight from Amazon.”

Leaving aside the snake-oil speech for the product with dubious (imaginary?) health benefits, did Russ just say he had a head injury and didn’t do anything about it but drink nanobubble water? That’s what people wanted to know when Rolling Stone‘s profile was published on Wednesday, so Russ naturally had to clarify that no, he didn’t have a concussion — though he still has no idea about the science of brain injuries (or hydration):

“I didn’t have a concussion,” Wilson said. “I guess it was perceived wrong. I did not have a concussion. I was saying that I had been consistently drinking the water for a month and a half — five, seven times a day. And I was like, ‘Man, maybe this stuff is helping me out.’ ”

Wilson said teammates like Kam Chancellor and Russell Okung also use the water.

“I didn’t have a head injury, but what I was trying to say is I think it helped prevent it,” he said. “I think your brain consists of like 75, 80 percent water, so I think that just being hydrated, drinking the recovery water really does help.”

That sound you just heard was the sound of everyone who knows the first thing about biology slamming their heads against their desks. “Well, your body’s mostly water, so superwater must make your body better!” is just about as dumb as “You only use 10 percent of your brain!” AND SO HELP ME IF YOU STILL THINK THAT IS TRUE. SO HELP ME.

Russell, we all understand that you have products you want to promote, but do not sell this kind of crap to actual reporters who put it on the internet. Save it for the 4 a.m. infomercials in which you’d surprisingly show up and convince half-asleep people that your shiny teeth can’t tell lies.

(Via ESPN and Rolling Stone)

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