Ryan Lochte Wants You To Buy A Nissan, Bro

I don’t know why I forgot to write about it a few weeks ago, but I didn’t hate the Ryan Lochte cameo on 30 Rock. In fact, I laughed rather amply at it, because Tina Fey, that glorious goddess of comedy writing, created a character that was perfect for the guy who spent his birthday hanging out with The Situation – “Sex Idiot”. In case you missed the episode, Lochte played one of Sbarro heiress Pizzarina Sbarro’s boyfriends, as she explained to Jack Donaghy that different guys provide different aspects of relationships for her.

Basically, Lochte played a dipshit who likes having sex. And that just seemed perfect. In fact, if he wants to play that same character in anything he appears in – 90210, The Bachelor, the 2016 Summer Olympics – I’m all for it. But I really hope that people actually liking his performance on 30 Rock doesn’t encourage him to think that he is hilarious. Just kidding, too late.

Nissan has created a new web series called “Date Better with Sentra” with a man identified only as “suave narrator”, and in a new commercial, he’s joined by Lochte, who is as packed with personality as ever.

Lochte is like a guy who appears in a fraternity’s homecoming skit and all his bros tell him how hilarious he was, so he figures he can move to Hollywood and become a star. Except Lochte is already famous so even people in Hollywood are like, “Oh yeah, you’re the funniest.” What am I complaining about, though, the guy is definitely something to laugh at.