11.13.06 11 years ago 5 Comments

Sammy Sosa… Salma Hayek… president of Dominican Republic… two dozen models… brain overload:

Sammy Sosa's elaborate birthday party Saturday night attracted more than 700 visitors to his $8 million villa… Actress Salma Hayek, a good friend of Sosa's, arrived amid much fanfare.

Yes, if by "fanfare" they mean "ogling her sweet rack." 

Sosa hired some two dozen young models clad in expensive dresses and high heels, arranging for them to stand along the candlelit driveway as the dignitaries walked down the red carpet. After about two hours of standing, three models walked toward the house, either to freshen up or give their feet some relief. When Sosa saw the models fall out of line, he shot them a stern look and signaled them to return to their posts until the president of the Dominican Republic arrived.

People, I'm telling you from experience, you cannot put up with shit from your models. Once you do things like allow them to rest briefly or go to the bathroom, they think they're entitled to thoughts of their own, then it's all me me me and I I I, and you have to go out and screen a whole new set of girls to be your sexy living statues.

But the funniest part of the story? Sosa still hasn't given up on a comeback to MLB. Yes, the same Sosa who hit .221 for the Orioles two years ago. Next stop for Sammy: San Diego Surf Dawgs.

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