06.24.08 10 years ago 16 Comments

As, you've no doubt seen by now, Suns center Shaquille O'Neal took the stage at a New York City club and freestyled about his former teammate Kobe Bryant.  While Shaq demonstrates the same mush-mouthed mic skills he brought to Fu Schnickens, the refrain — "Kobe, tell me how my ass tastes" — is undeniably catchy.

Reached by ESPN's Stephen A. Smith on Monday, O'Neal issued the following statement: "I was freestyling. That's all. It was all done in fun. Nothing serious whatsoever. That is what MC's do. They freestyle when called upon. I'm totally cool with Kobe. No issue at all… Please tell everybody don't make something out of nothing."

Reached by imaginary conversation last night, Kobe replied, "Hmmm… It's a complex flavor not suitable for an unrefined palate.  Strong nose… very earthy.  Is that a hint of pear?  Perhaps a bit too much garlic.  Nutty undertones and a lingering, salty finish.  Should be paired with a stout red wine, preferably something that comes in a one-gallon jug.  You're gonna need it."

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