11.04.09 8 years ago 6 Comments

It looks like tennis star Maria Sharapova [you know, as opposed to Wichita Federal Credit Union middle manager Maria Sharapova] finally has settled on a man. Cue the obligatory “That’s too bad, really, because I totally had a shot with her.”

Now comes word that [Lakers] struggling backup guard Sasha Vujacic and tennis star Maria Sharapova might be dating after the two were seen cuddling at a recent U2 concert.

And now the LA Times begins a cititation spree that may or may not force to lose control of bowels and leave you huddled in the corner crying for Mama.

In a recent posting, the website SportsByBrooks reported that CNBC reporter Darren Rovell revealed on Twitter the possibility of this power union earlier today. That was followed a few hours later by Matt Cronin of tweeting that it was indeed true.

But Tommy said that Heather said that Brandon said that they were just friends! Oh, who to believe; I’m sure he’s pounding that sweet, tender Vujacic all the same. It’s a good time to be a basketball player that nobody outside of LA has ever heard of. It’s also a good time to be a porpoise. I just think they’re nifty animals.

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