Snoop Dogg Went On A Crazy Rant Because The Eagles Cost Him In Fantasy Football

12.21.15 3 years ago

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Snoop Dogg is like a lot of people. He plays fantasy football and, as we’ve all experienced, he suffered a crushing playoff loss because of what happened during the final game in his matchup. The Cardinals defense demolished the Eagles in a 40-17 win, making it hard to be Snoop D-O-double-G.

He posted a screenshot of his matchup…

Fuck. The Eagles.

A post shared by snoopdogg (@snoopdogg) on

…along with a video in which he makes a profanity-laced request that Eagles coach Chip Kelly do the honorable thing and commit suicide because a 44-year-old man lost in fantasy football.

“Chip Kelly, kill yourself, you dumbass coach. You’re sorry as f*ck, cuz. You need to get dropped down to little league football, you sorry motherf*cker. Cost me my f*cking fantasy. I’m so f*cking pissed off.”

We all say things we regret when angry or sad, like when we lose a fantasy football game, but let’s consider the many ways Snoop is perhaps being a baby:

  1. It’s Week 15. He either lost in the semifinals or is playing in a really stupid league that, for some reason, uses Week 15 as its Super Bowl.
  2. Snoop’s team is garbage and was lucky to be alive that deep into the Sunday night game. Kirk Cousins? Tavon Austin? If this was the semis, you probably would’ve been installed as a 30-point underdog in your championship game.
  3. Snoop conveniently doesn’t show his bench. There is probably at least one coaching move that could have won him the game. Look inward, Snoop.
  4. The Eagles are terrible. The Cardinals are good. Snoop should have mentally prepared for the possibility of the Cardinals D scoring a touchdown.
  5. Oh, right, he made a video requesting a man commit suicide because of sports.

Of course, Snoop does not really want Kelly to commit suicide. He was angry. If only there was something in Snoop’s life that could mellow him out.

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