05.05.08 10 years ago 18 Comments

Tiffany May, the not-quite-streaker who interrupted the recent U.S.-Honduras game ("match") when she ran across the field ("pitch") wearing only her underwear ("knickers" or "fun-stoppers"), has capitalized on her 15 seconds of fame by posing for Playboy. Playboy's trying to be all coy, only releasing these SFW photos to the non-paying public. They want you to sign up for their little cyber club so you can see her all of her girl parts.

And so, Playboy, I have this to say to you: I respect your work, but I wasn't born yesterday.  This is the 21st century, and the only people who pay for porn are suckers in hotel rooms without free Internet and Canadians.  Using some complicated computer technology I like to call "Google," I found Miss May (not to be confused with Miss May) exposed to the elements right here in all of her NSFW glory. 

I'm not proud of it or drooling over her exquisite hotness or anything, I'm just sayin': you can't tell me someone's been photographed naked and expect me not to find it.  I'm a professional, and I take my job seriously.  I mean, not all the time.  Just most afternoons when the hangover dies down.  Assuming I haven't started drinking again.  Okay so I don't take work seriously.  But I will find those naked boobs.

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