Stadium-Wide Brazilian Soccer Brawls, Now With Helicopters


The World Cup in Brazil is going to be great. People are having severed heads dropped on their doorstep, the soccer stadiums are collapsing and the dead are coming back to life in Brazilian cemeteries. It’s the perfect mix of inhuman violence and nonstop insanity that will make wearing scarves and playing novelty instruments worth it.

The latest example of Brazilian nutjobbery is this stadium-wide soccer brawl that got so bad the police had to fire rubber bullets at fans and toss around tear gas, and a helicopter had to be called in to airlift somebody out.

If you’re going to the World Cup, be careful. In fact, don’t go to the World Cup at all. Stick to the Miss Bum Bum competitions and keep your head down. And, uh, on your shoulders.