05.06.07 11 years ago 7 Comments

The San Antonio Spurs bested the Phoenix Suns today 111-106 to win Game 1 of their Western Conference Semifinal series and steal home court advantage.  Eva "Lady Macbeth" Longoria almost certainly instructed her effete fiancé, Tony Parker, to draw Steve Nash's blood with a craven head-butt in order to decimate his strength.

With blood spewing from a cut on his nose, Steve Nash could only watch from the bench while the San Antonio Spurs put away Game 1 of the Western Conference semifinals.  "There was nothing I could do," he said. "It was obviously frustrating, but it was really out of my hands."

That dastardly Tony Parker will receive his comeuppance if I remember my Shakespeare correctly.  Of course, I'm only familiar with the Bard through Bugs Bunny and Daffy Duck's Looney Tunes, so I'm thinking Mr. Parker will be stonewalled by a lane pick placed by an Acme anvil wearing a Suns uniform.  Tim Duncan offered this gem:

The score was a bit high for Duncan's liking. "We'd rather play in the 90s, we'd rather play in the 80s," he said.

Um, is that a Zen koan?  In other hot NBA action today, the Cavaliers beat the Nets 81-77 to take the first game of that series.  Somebody told me that the Bulls began their Eastern Conference Semifinal series with the Pistons yesterday, but I think I would remember some highlights of Chicago scoring some points.  It's not like the potent Bulls offense could be held to under thirty points in a half.  I do know that the Jazz finally eliminated the Rockets, so Boozer and the boys will face the unstoppable Warriors.  Utah really needs to change their nickname because when I hear 'Jazz', I think heroin and saxophones.  When I hear 'Utah', I think salinated water and anti-masturbation campaigns. -KD

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