@Storytime: How To Hurt Tim Tebow's Feelings

As hard as you try, it’s hard to hate nearly-aborted Denver Broncos quarterback and college football hugging legend Tim Tebow. His religious beliefs make him one of the ten most influential athletes in the world and he always seems affable, even when talking about growing up with missionaries and sponsoring orphanages. So outside of longstanding, biased college football rivalries and Derek Jeter style TIM TEBOW SUCKS talk, who could develop thorough enough of a mean-on for Tebow to crack that Average White Boy persona and hurt his feelings? Who could do it well enough that one of the most hated people in sports (and one of the most beloved, because that’s how it works) would think you’ve gone too far and stick up for him?
Enter: Merril Hoge, former running back for the Pittsburgh Steelers, current ESPN football analyst and 183rd Pokémon. Merril has taken to Twitter and ESPN radio to but Tebow “on full blast”, and while it doesn’t read as the most literate thing in the world, Hoge is a football authority and what he says has some weight behind it. The “Tebow Thing” evolved into a monster of bickering fan support and 100+ retweets, and sometime around Hoge saying Tebow doesn’t “poses [sic] a skill set”, Miami Heat star LeBron James started chiming in. And you don’t need me to tell you that LeBron James “chiming in” usually kills the conversation.
To make the transition from Twitter to Twitter easier for you to read, please enjoy the Tim Tebow Sucks argument through the fingertips of the men who lived it.

It beginnnnns

I don’t know who this random guy is, but his response made me laugh, so I’m including it. This is great humor!

Tebow responds, and this is where it should probably have ended. You know, except for somebody pointing out that replacing the a in “appreciate” with an apostrophe doesn’t make “appreciate” any shorter or easier to type.

The weirdest thing about the Internet (socially, anyway) is how easy it is to find tons and tons of strangers who will back you up no matter what. Of course, when the people start talking, the King Of The People has to speak up.

The rest of the tweet reads “a WINNER! It takes time and he’ll be nice”. And it goes on to say “he will probably win not five, not six, not seven Super Bowls”.

To be continued. “You’re a hater/hating” is the new “you’re just like HITLER” of online discussion killers. I hope Hoge’s response is just “f**k you, LeBron, you lost”.

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