Taiwanese Report: David Stern Is Gay, Can Beat NBA Players At One-On-One

Next Media Animation’s latest video is easy their most accurate, succinctly explaining the NBA Lockout situation to foreign audiences and stoned people on the Internet by having commissioner David Stern (wearing a blazer with a big “STERN” on the back) avenge the death of a cubist man representing the Detroit Pistons franchise by breaking into Derek Fisher’s house with a chainsaw, cutting in half a pizza Kobe had baked with LeBron James and scaring LeBron so badly he travels to China and loses at basketball and is emasculated by a communist panda. Stern is then free to get married to a hairy guy in a Time Warner Cable wedding dress. Taiwanese animation is such a better educational tool than Twitter.

In all seriousness, and as per usual, this video is f**king hilarious and insane. I’m not sure why Stern looks like Mr. Burns, and I think the only truly accurate moment is a salary cap causing LeBron’s head to burst into flames. We should cancel the rest of the season and just have Next Media Animation animate the games.

[h/t Sportress of Blogitude]

×