Texas Football: If The Heat Doesn't Kill You, The Stabbings Will

It looks like I’m going to have to turn “Texas football guys dying” into a daily feature. Yesterday, we shared the story of Prestonwood Christian School assistant football coach Wade McLain, who collapsed and died when he stood outside all day in one of the state’s 40-plus days of 100-degree-plus weather. Today’s story takes place amidst air conditioning but is no less brutal — the storied college sports rivalry between the University of Oklahoma and the University of Texas at Austin evolved from aggressive car decals to full-on knife fighting at a San Antonio Applebee’s. Applebee’s©, where stacking food on top of different foods constitutes a new menu item!

The report and video, courtesy of Alamo Graphics News:

An argument over college football escalated into a knife fight at a San Antonio Applebee’s that sent two men to the hospital.

Police said officers were called to a northwest Applebee’s restaurant just before midnight on Monday in regards to a fight that started as an argument between an Oklahoma Sooners fan and Texas Longhorns fan. The argument escalated, and the Oklahoma fan pulled a knife and attacked the Texas fan.

Both were taken to University Hospital, where the Texas fan was last reported in stable condition; the other man in critical condition.

State pride legislation permits me to point how how the Oklahoma fan is the one who pulled the knife and attacked, but is the one in critical condition. Oklahoma, ladies and gentlemen, the Poland of the central United States. I hope by “pulled a knife” they mean he picked up the steak knife he was using at the Applebee’s and tried to stab a guy. I wonder if he got Garlic Mash in his wounds.

The only place I eat in San Antonio is green Vegetarian Cuisine, because I’ve come too far in my life to get shanked at a TGI Friday’s.

[h/t Los That Sports Blog]