Texas: Lie About Fishing, Go to Jail

Pro Wrestling Editor
05.12.11 8 Comments

If you’re one of the countless Texans who love stabbing an animal in the face with a hook, then removing the hook and harmlessly dropping it back into the water with a big hole in its mouth, make sure you tell the truth about what you’ve done. This shouldn’t come as a surprise from the state that gleefully executed retarded people, but the Texas state Senate unanimously passed a bill that would make it illegal to lie about the size, weight, or provenance of a fish. Right now this is only for fish caught during a tournament, but knowing our liberal government we won’t be able to read The Old Man and the Sea without proof of registration.

Bill sponsor Senator Glenn Hegar, as told to the New York Times:

“The harassment has been pretty deep over this one,” he says, though he fishes just recreationally. If signed by Governor Rick Perry, the bill will make misrepresentation a misdemeanor, or a felony punishable by up to 10 years in prison if the prize offered is worth more than $10,000. “Everybody is just telling stories, that’s fishing,” says one fishing guide. “But to cheat, that’s another thing. That’s just not right.”

You’ve got to wonder — if you’re fishing in a tournament, shouldn’t there be some sort of organized body that fact-checks the fishing? Is that how Texas rolls? Trust? Do you just catch the fish in your spare time and mail in your results, and some fishing council ranks you later? Do you include a rounded-up guesstimate of beers drank? There’s no anti-lying legislation in Texas baseball. Could the Texas Rangers win by saying they hit a triple and seeming “awful sincere” about it?

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