The Air Sex Championships Returned To Austin And Oh God, They Let Me Judge Again

As an extremely, extremely low-level celebrity in the Austin, Texas, area, I’ve gotten to participate in a lot of cool things. I’m co-hosting a veggie hot dog eating contest at this year’s Fun Fun Fun Fest, I’ve participated in a Megaphone Show at the best comedy theater in town and during Fantastic Fest (not to be confused with Fun Fun Fun Fest … we have a lot of fests) I was asked to be a judge at an Air Sex Championships show.

Of course, that was just an exhibition for the festival. The formal competition round for the next cycle of Air Sex Champions returned to Austin on Wednesday night at The Highball, and because I guess I did an okay job telling people they were good or bad at f**king invisible objects the first time, I was asked back as a judge. If you remember our exclusive coverage of the last time they were in town you’ll recognize a few returning competitors, but most importantly you’ll recognize me, sitting there at the table in the background secretly reverting back into 6-year old Super Christian Brandon and asking God to forgive me.

Big thanks to Lex Lybrand of Greenless Studios for these glorious action shots of the event. If you haven’t been to a live Air Sex show and it comes to your area (and it will … it tours nationwide), check it out. If not, I’ll bring a camera on stage with me next time and show you some horrible angles you’re missing from the crowd.

Comedian/host/pro wrestling manager/one of my Halloween costumes Chris Trew (of ‘America’s Got Talent’ fame) warming up the crowd.

A packed house at The Highball, which is probably the greatest name for an Air Sex venue.

Oh look, a blogger. Note to self: Next time you’re gonna be sitting at a table with no tarp over it, wear longer pants.

Your judges: AOL FanHouse’s own Brandon Stroud, comedian Yamina Khouane and Anarchy Championship Wrestling tag team champion Jojo Bravo.

Me doing my best Halpert Face.

I know it looks that way, but I am not smiling at her vagina.

It’s milk, I swear. Well, it’s supposed to be ectoplasm. He was f**king a ghost.

If two contestants tie at Air Sex, what happens? A F**K-OFF, THAT’S WHAT.

Your finalists.

And your winner, the grotesquely entertaining “Hand Banana”. Represent Austin proudly, guy!