01.24.08 10 years ago 30 Comments

I'll be honest, I was just trying to be nice when I said the women's semifinals at the Australian Open were super-sexy.  Daniela Hantuchova may have nice legs, but her face is furrier than a '70s porn set.  And Jelena Jankovic is probably a very sweet girl.  Translation: It looks like her face caught fire and someone put it out with a wet chain.

So, with that out of the way… good news everybody!  Hantuchova and Jankovic lost last night or whenever they played in Australia's weird dimension in time.  So it's gonna be a U.S. Open rematch of Maria Sharapova and Ana Ivanovic in Friday's final (Friday? Looks like I've got a date this weekend!).  Although how Maria and Ana won is anyone's guess — according to my research they spend most of their time just lying around and looking sexy, which is great but not what typically makes a sports champion.  Of course, my research consisted entirely of putting those two images together into a single .jpg file, so there might be a slight margin of error.

Meanwhile, in the men's bracket, uh… whatever. 

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