Sports

The Best And Worst Of Impact Wrestling 5/16/14: Needs More Glass Unicorns

Hi wrestlefriends! It’s time for another week of swerves nobody saw coming except everyone kind of did! But first:

– Brandon and I will be at the Ring of Honor/NJPW show in New York tomorrow (May 17th), and Beyond Wrestling in Providence on Sunday. If you will be too, find us and say hello! That is if I haven’t died of wrestleswoons from being in the same place as Okada twice in one week (omg).

– Speaking of Brandon, we did another Slammentary for Clash of the Champions XXVIII. It was a super great show, except, you know, Hogan.

– Comment, like, tweet, tumbl, and share this report. Unless you think wrestling is for gay babies or whatever. You can probably refrain from joining in the conversation.

– Follow me on Twitter here, With Leather here, and UPROXX here. The second two for all of your sports and pop culture needs, the first for pictures of me fawning over puro dudes and and being way too excited to see my best friend. And some puns, probably.

This week on Impact: Maybe one of the worst matches in their history, and also Gunner! Sounds fun, right? Let’s find out!

Worst: Are we doing this yeah okay we’re doing this

Full disclosure: I fell asleep during this opening segment three times, in part due to working ten hours on one hour of sleep like an insane person, and in part to it being so godawful boring. It happened again today after a good night’s sleep, so I’m thinking it might not just be me and my boned sleep schedule.

Eric Young’s title run is given some kind of justification, as MVP explains Step 1 of his 10-Point Plan to do whatever it is he thinks he’s going to do. The problem is that while we’re told, okay, Eric Young is champion because he’s weak, and MVP can easily defeat him to become World Champion, feeding into the mythos of a title belt having more meaning than anything else in the world, but he still won it in a tournament. MVP even admits that he didn’t think Eric Young would win it. So that aspect of it becomes moot.

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