
Pre-show notes:
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– I’ll remind you again as the column rolls on, but Justin O’Connor of Progressive Boink and myself are hosting a Best And Worst Of WWE Smackdown Live-Blog tonight at 8 PM EST. They’re airing it live this week, so you should come and chat with us and leave comments that I can hopefully multitask well enough in spite of Justin’s funny to include. Seriously, you’re going to laugh your ass off at this. Stop by, and tell folks.
– Another good reason for you to stop by and get to know Justin: he’s going to be filling in for me on the Best And Worst Of WWE Raw 12/19 report on Tuesday the 20th. The 19th is my girlfriend’s birthday, and as much as I love wrestling, yeah, no.
– All the gifs you see within the report are courtesy of the awesome Jerusalem at Punchsport Pagoda.
– Listening to me is better than reading me, so be sure to spend … jesus, two hours listening to me talk to K. Sawyer Paul over on the International Object podcast.
– For further Raw reading, please consult UGO’s The Good The Bad And The Ugly and John Canton’s The WWE Raw Deal.
But first, please to enjoy the Best and Worst of WWE Raw for November 28.
I really wish when Miz walked back out with a mic, he just said “Janetty’d” dropped the mic on Morrison and smugly stood there into commercial
I genuinely had a big smile on my face to see how good Roddy looked. I still remember him looking terrible with the pot belly a few years ago, and its nice he is back in shape. Not sure how much cancer had to do with that, but whatevs.
I think you missed one major point on Roddy’s comments though. He did point out, just as you did at Survivor Series, that he is starting to come off as fake because he refuses to react. If someone mocks you in front of the fans and rock bottoms you, you don’t smile about it the next night. Its reasonable to get pissed. I think Roddy fairly pointed out that there is a difference between having integrity and simply being superficial. People want to see Cena face his anger and still do the right thing, not act like he is never angry.
Bye John, see you never.
Damn. He IS a heel.
Wait so how does Daniel Bryan beating up a women show compassion?
@Axis: I truly believe the Birds of War episode of Sunny saved him. Or at least that would be cool. More likely is the fact that he’s actually taken some time to recover from his multiple major surgeries and isn’t bumping anymore.
@troi – Because it convinces her to stop wearing fur through his vegan activism.
a girl(?) appears at :29 of the second2012 video…
MOVES LIKE SWAGGER
Yay for muscular women in athletic pants
Re: Cena’s entrance at ECW ONS, at about the 4:17 mark, they cut to shot that is kind of over the crowd’s shoulder looking back at Cena, center of the frame is the back of somebody’s head who is giving the double bird to Cena … that’s me!! Those are my middle fingers!! E-C-DUB! E-C-DUB!
I really appreciated your Prototype joke
I was there last night and from being in the arena, I don’t understand the appeal of Ryder. During two or three different matches people were changing “We Want Ryder,” then when he actually came out the crowd could not have seemed any less interested in his match. Add the fact that he messed up the setup to his win the first time so Jack Swagger had to literally do the exact same thing again and I wound up very confused how he is a popular thing now.
I’m fully expecting Michael Cole to have one of those sausage lassos the next time he interviews Daniel Bryan. And wouldn’t it be great if they had Meat come back and feud with D-Bry? Remember Meat? Anyone? Anyone?
That dress shirt thing seems to be part of that age bracket. My father believes that is how a button up shirt is to be worn at all times.
Also I don’t anyone who cheers for Triple H is reading this column. They are too busy perfected their new list for Bleacher Report.
Perfecting. Dammit!
@Kyle
“We want Ryder” is the new “WHAT?” Its just a way to fuck up anything the wrestlers are trying to do in the ring.
The thing that bothered me about the end of the Punk/Del Rio was the “GTS” on the turnbuckle. He just kinda fell from a height of a foot on to it and was magically knocked out. At least with a regular GTS you get a f**king knee to the face. It’s the same principle with the cutter or the stunner, I suppose.
@Kyle and Axissillian – Yeah, “We Want Ryder” is just further proof that people at wrestling shows don’t want to see wrestling, they want to see wrestlers.
Specifically requesting The Best And Worst Of Destiny’s Birthday 12/19
@Greene – You got it. Well, if sports happen during it, I guess.
November f**king 29th IS a holiday–it’s my birthday, dammit. :)
I’ve probably said this before on here, but my biggest problem with Cena is when he takes the whole “face” concept way too much to heart. How many times have we seen him get the shit kicked out of him and just take it? Not even an attempt at retribution, until of course the ppv, when he wins yet again. Mind-numbingly boring. Come on, even the nicest guy can get some payback more often than that. Cena has the personality to pull off a stunt or two to tweak his opponent du jour, even if it might get him a bigger beatdown the following week. Let him (and his fans) have a moment of satisfaction like that once in a while.
Speaking of my perpetual loathing for the WWE fanbase, I really hate it when Cena or someone else puts over the crowd as “always saying what is on their minds.”
The average WWE crowd contains the cud-chewingest marks around except for the rare times when they are in a “smart” crowd which is just as obnoxious for the same reasons.
This, in turn, returns to me to where all wrestling conversations should inevitably go. That being the fact 2008 Chris Jericho was awesome.
I really can’t speak much about the wrestling since I didn’t get to watch it last night, but THANK YOU for the Kelly Kelly gif with her tits all hanging out and shit.
And I still have my Chrono Trigger game cartridge somewhere. The only thing I can remember off the top of my head is that rhyming robot in the beginning.
B, where could I buy those “Moves Like Swagger” earmuffs? My daughter loves that horrible song, and Christmas is around the corner.
@Jade
The trick is getting angry Cena and not “angry” Cena. Remember that period like two years ago where every Cena promo was him making jokes and then getting REALLY LOUD AND SERIOUS to show how serious and angry he was and how this was personal now Randy Orton.
Your imaginings of the way WWE writers meetings go needs to become a thing
“1. It was pointed out to me that Miz looks like Howard The Duck, and now I’ll never be able to unsee it. ”
You’re welcome, America
Oh, and great post as usual
Kelly Kelly looks great for someone who loves bread so much that her theme song is called “Challah”
This Raw needed more Muppets, but then more Muppets is my suggestion for everything.
RE: Foley – couldn’t agree more. We’ve officially passed the point where he can be legitimately introduced as “Hardcore Legend” Mick Foley and should be introduced as “Fat Guy With a Bad Haircut” Mick Foley. I LOVE Mick/Cactus/Mankind but lovable muppet Foley’s gotta go.
@IrishCream – You’ve ruined a lot of peoples’ wrestling show with that.
I thought the opening segment proved your point that Cena is like an abused girlfriend more than anything else. He acknowledged the bruises, but only barely and would never admit that they were a bad thing, only a part of his life neither good nor bad. Roddy Piper killed in this segment, but I’d like to see a bunch of different WWE legends come in and try to get Cena to man up and take this match seriously. Get Bret Hart out there. Get Stone Cold out there talking about his wars with The Rock and how he needs to step it up. The point should be this: The Rock is coming for him and if he doesn’t change his ways he is going to go down. This doesn’t mean turning Cena heel, it means getting him to drop the fun-loving-I’m-a-fan-just-like-you-who-loves-The-Rock-b.s. and start acting like the 30-time WWE champion and future Hall of Famer that he is. It’s one thing to have Hustle Loyalty and Respect, it’s a complete other thing to be a fanboy who isn’t taking this seriously.
1. great review, that del rio= river joke is hilarious.
2. totally agree on hot chicks in workout clothes.
3. best game ever is metal gear solid.
I want to go as Battle Kat.
Holy crap do I miss Eddie.
THESTINGER liked last night’s episode. It was not as good as last week’s Smackdown, but it was good enough.
THESTINGER is a big fan of Daniel Bryan. Daniel Bryan seems to really care about the animal rights aspect:
[www.youtube.com]
Part of why THESTINGER is such a supporter of Daniel Bryan is that he is a leftist. Anyone that reads Chomsky or Howard Zinn is a friend of THESTINGER and it is not hard to believe that someone that reads people like that would also come around to the ethical side of being a vegan.
THESTINGER is unsure that John Cena is a heel. You are right about a lot of your analysis but if Cena was a heel they would not have him crassly trying to cash in on Zack Ryder’s popularity. If Cena was not a heel they would not try to have CM Punk’s popularity rub off onto him in September.
Had Cena been pushing, on screen at least, for Ryder or someone else to get more airtime it would be one thing. Instead, Ryder becomes popular on his own terms and now Cena is trying to rub off on it. THESTINGER knows that it is a dick move, but it’s not played as a heel move.
Or hell, maybe Cena is a heel. THESTINGER remembers the night where Cena fought Rey Mysterio for the WWE Championship after Mysterio had already had a match to win the belt and then Cena Five Knuckle Shuffles Rey Mysterio. Seriously, that’s just a jackass thing to do to anyone, but to do it to Rey Mysterio after he’s already wrestled once before?
Cena has become a chimera and THESTINGER believes anyone can see what they want in him.
THESTINGER agrees that HHH (or Triple H as his friends call him) makes the show worse. He was never interesting. THESTINGER may be alone in this but the Attitude Era was more bad than good.
At this point THESTINGER should stop. Great column, Brandon. THESTINGER is most thankful for the days when rasslin’ is good and your column makes THESTINGER laugh. Even still, THESTINGER is thankful for when you can bring laughter even if the show was awful.
So in vegan activism world beating up a woman is better than wearing in all likelihood was a fake fur? I mean isn’t looking like a jackass punishment enough?
I think Dolph Ziggler should have a new entrance song remix every week.
Can anyone here actually do a handstand? I just tried and ended up hurting myself.
@troi – No, of course not, beating up a woman is never okay. Jeez.
Really hope that Brodus Clay turns into MB3 from Drew’s old Wade & Jerry posts. It’d be perfect. Otunga is already this close to being Jason Garrett.
No longer having to be annoyed and disappointed with John Morrison was a pretty swell birthday gift, too!
So Brandon I have to ask, why are you s Vegan? Do you think eating meat is evil or do you just not like it?
I thought the CM Punk Google thing was appropriate because he was just spouting nonsense numbers, like they do about Twitter. Like he knew what he was saying was stupid, but f- it what they say is stupid.
Also, check out this goddam handstand! *hup*
(executes flawless handstand)
*Why you are a vegan?
Sorry about that.
*Why are you a vegan?
There we go. Yeah, I did it! OH YEAH, OH YEAHHHH
@Sebastian Howard – I was a vegetarian for a long time and never went vegan because I thought they were all nutjob assholes. I’ve never been able to separate where food comes from and what I’m about to put in my mouth. I had severe eating disorder issues because of guilt and used to weigh over 300 pounds, and it wasn’t until I sorta came to terms with veganism being a lifestyle choice and not a cliq of people that I made the switch. I’ve been happy as hell ever since, and have lost 70-some pounds for my troubles.
Thankfully I live in a place like Austin where vegan food is as easy to get as any other kind, and people sorta know what it’s about and don’t act weird. That allows me to never have to act weird in response.
In all fairness I do not see why people hate Vegans. If anything, I respect the hell out of them. I tried to go vegetarian for awhile but decided Buffalo wings are simply too delicious.
About the Barrett/Lawler exchange, wasn’t Lawler taken aback, not by the power of Barrett’s words, but because “Good for the goose is good for the gander” means that the same rules should apply to Men and Women, and therefore used in a context where it made no sense?
I’m probably giving Lawler too much credit. That Memphis hillbilly probably has no idea what that saying really meant.
@Axissillian – Honestly a lot of them are jerks, but a lot of ANY kind of people are jerks. People get odd about food, and get bent out of shape when you don’t eat what they eat, on both sides.
And meat can be delicious, yeah, but I’m lucky, because I really love what I eat now. I could swim around in a Scrooge McDuck money bin of quinoa.
Best explanation of Cena’s character I’ve ever heard.